Obviously a full and speedy recovery for the little dictator.
What he did NOT request, and in fact outright refused, were the ginger ale and saltine crackers I bought for him specially yesterday. As far as I'm aware, he's never had ginger ale, so I have no idea why he has such an aversion to it. No matter. I put the small bottle of it to good use this evening as a mixer with gin and lemon juice.
The saltines he refused because he persisted in believing they were rice crackers, which he does not like. And the reason he thought they were rice crackers? Because they're round.
Round saltines? What the hell, Kraft? Saltines, as everyone knows, are square. But this tomfoolery not only included round crackers, but round crackers with sea salt.
What's wrong with regular salt anymore? Why does all salt need to be sea salt? Annoying. And pretentious.
Although I will certainly eat the crackers because I'm a sucker for anything made with white flour, they are not what they used to be. Not only are they round, but the fancy-pants sea salt is smaller than the salt granules that used to be on saltines, resulting in a less salty taste. Also, they're not quite as airy and crisp as the square ones*. They remind me more of salted water crackers.
These crackers these days. Nothing at all like they were in MY day.
* In case you're wondering how I came to be such an authority on the old-school saltines, let me share my credentials: When I was in college, I would eat an entire sleeve of saltines for lunch in my car on my way from work to class. So I know a real saltine when I see one.