The other day when I was downstairs with Charlie, I heard the thumping upstairs that indicated Cubby was done with his nap and emerging from his room. When the thumps did not descend the stairs, I went upstairs in search of the thumper.
I found him in our bedroom, applying deodorant to his forehead. He explained he was putting Daddy's deodorant on because he smelled like peanut butter and jelly.
Well, sure. Makes sense to me*.
He also told me that same day that it didn't matter what I said, he was going to press on Charlie's head. This was after, of course, I had told him not to do that and he had said yes I will and I had said no you won't. And he said YES, I WILL. And I said NO, YOU WON'T OR YOU WILL BE IN BIG TROUBLE.
All caps and italics included in this conversation.
After the pronouncement that it didn't matter what I said, he was going to do it anyway, I said something brilliant like, "OH YES IT MATTERS; IF I TELL YOU NOT TO DO SOMETHING YOU WILL NOT DO IT" (all caps again). And then I hauled him into the other room for a time out.
Oh, the hilarious and infuriating things kids say. A laugh a minute, this parenting gig. About a minute all day, that is.
* It kind of does, because we explained that deodorant is used by adults so they don't smell bad. I don't think most people would rank peanut butter and jelly up there with B.O. on the Stink Scale, but whatever.